Don’t Look Away: ‘If we heal men, we will heal society,’ says Father A Nation

As South Africa embarks on its annual 16 Days of Activism for No Violence Against Women and Children, one organisation says it is time to shift the narrative. Picture: File

As South Africa embarks on its annual 16 Days of Activism for No Violence Against Women and Children, one organisation says it is time to shift the narrative. Picture: File

Published Nov 27, 2024

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As 16 days of Activism for 16 No Violence Against Women and Children is observed, a local organisation is calling for gender-based violence (GBV) to be addressed by healing men.

Father A Nation, a non-profit and public benefit organisation and that addresses GBV, crime and fatherlessness by restoring and equipping men to be nation-builders, fathers and role models, said a fresh and urgent narrative is emerging - one that goes beyond simply creating awareness - one that highlights the need to heal men, the primary perpetrators of gender-based violence (GBV), as the key to breaking the cycle of abuse.

This shift in focus is powerfully underscored by a national GBV study released by the Human Sciences Research Council’s (HSRC), which delves into the core drivers of this crisis in South Africa.

Founder and CEO of Father A Nation, Craig Wilkinson said the findings of this study are a wake-up call.

“The findings are a wake-up call: mental health struggles, childhood trauma, and distorted notions of masculinity are fuelling destructive male behaviour and driving SA’s unacceptably high rates of GBV.

“If SA is to make meaningful progress in eradicating GBV, these root causes must be addressed with urgency and intentionality,” Wilkinson said.

He said the organisation’s stance has always been: ‘If we heal men, we will heal society’ and the study affirms their stance nearly 15 years later.

“It challenges the damaging notion that abuse is inherent in men, emphasising instead that no boy is born an abuser. It’s simply not in the DNA of a man to harm a woman or child. Something has to go horribly wrong in a boy’s journey to adulthood for him to become abusive,” Wilkinson said.

The HSRC study identifies childhood trauma and mental health issues as critical contributors to abusive behaviour.

“Suicide, addiction and violence are destructive patterns often rooted in untreated trauma,” Wilkinson explained.

“Ignoring this comes at a devastating cost. If SA wants to turn the tide on GBV, it must invest significantly in psycho-social support for men and boys and teaching positive, healthy masculinity. Counselling, mentorship, and trauma healing must become accessible and mainstream,” he said.

The study also sheds light on how distorted ideas of masculinity perpetuate abuse.

“When boys grow up without positive male role models, fathers and mentors who embody healthy masculinity, they turn to their peers or media for guidance. The results are often devastating. Aggression, dominance, and machoism become the default, replacing the true essence of masculinity, which is rooted in love, respect, service, and being a place of safety,” Wilkinson said.

The South African fatherlessness crisis exacerbates this challenge. Without men to model what it means to be a good man, young boys are left vulnerable to adopting destructive notions of power and manhood.

The study revealed:

* 70% of men believe a woman should obey her husband.

* 23% believe a woman can never refuse sex with her husband.

* 15% believe a husband has the right to punish his wife for perceived wrongs.

“These beliefs are not just wrong, they are dangerous. If we do not dismantle these myths, we cannot expect to see a meaningful reduction in GBV.

“These findings underscore the urgent need for targeted interventions that address the systemic and behavioural drivers of GBV, with a focus on mental health, substance abuse, and transforming harmful gender norms,” the study said.

Wilkinson said Father A Nation’s work aligns closely with the findings of the HSRC study, highlighting four key drivers behind why men abuse. These include emotional woundedness, distorted notions of masculinity, false beliefs about women’s value, and emasculating circumstances. Father A Nation’s approach in its course, No Excuse For Abuse, emphasises that while these factors help explain abusive behaviour, they can never be used as excuses.

The HSRC study is a call to action. To end GBV, South Africa must reframe its approach. This does not absolve men of accountability, rather, it demands that society address the conditions that allow abuse to flourish in the first place.

The solution lies in education, mental health interventions, and fostering a culture of healthy masculinity. Schools, communities, workplaces, and faith-based organisations all have a role to play.

Wilkinson emphasised that: “raising boys to be the fathers, brothers, and leaders they were meant to be will not only protect women from abuse, but will save our nation from the devastating tide of violent crime, fatherlessness and corruption”.

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