I can’t imagine what pressures there are on men when it comes to sexual performance. Women can but shouldn’t fake it. With men, well that’s a whole different story. The first thing they have to contend with are erections. Is he going to get one? If he does, can he maintain it and then when she gets her kit off, how long is he going to last?

Men never ask us about how to overcome premature ejaculation, but we hear about it from their frustrated partners.

What I can tell the men reading this article is women often blame themselves and try to make light of it with their partner. The bad news is that it is your responsibility to cure yourself. It can be done.

Here are 7 steps to help cure premature ejaculation:

Be Confident

Premature ejaculation can happen occasionally and that’s no problem It only becomes a problem when you cannot get through a play without it happening.

The problem is that once it happens, many men can’t stop thinking about whether it is going to happen again. It’s easier said than done. Persist with your sexual pursuits as normal. Chat about it with your partner and work through it.

Relax.

That’s like tell your wife to calm down when she’s agitated. If you are in a healthy trusting relationship, it’s a lot easier. Maybe have a tequila or two but no more because then the erection might become a problem.

Practice.

Premature Ejaculation could have started in the teen years when you were having a quick solo session and had to get it done before you got caught. That imprint stays with you, so you have to retrain your body.

You have to masturbate, slowly. When you feel you are close to orgasm, stop and pull it back. It’s called edging and is very successful at preventing premature ejaculation. You have to learn how your body works and how to control it. This will give you more confidence going forward.

Distract Yourself

This is a bit like telling you to relax! One technique that works is when you feel over excited, recite something or do mental math. It takes your mind off the anxiety of performance.

Try using a penis ring.

This pleasure aid has been designed specifically for this purpose.

I’m not talking about the vibrating version. Use the simple version. It looks a bit like an elastic band but thicker. You put it on once you have an erection, all the way to the base of the shaft. The band restricts the blood flow ensures that you maintain an erection even if you have had an orgasm.

Practice putting it on so that when you are with your partner you are not all thumbs and ejaculate while you’re applying it.

Environment

When is the best time for you to have sex? When do you experience the least anxiety. Being caught may still be at the back of your mind. When does it not bother you?

Work out what triggers your anxiety around premature ejaculation. Once you have identified the cause you can successfully deal with the problem.

Additional Aids

There are additional products on the market that can help you successfully overcome this issue. For getting a better and harder erection a penis pump does wonders. It is also helpful in training your penis not to be over excited when something touches and envelops it.

The same can be said for masturbation sleeves. They look and feel real and are great for practising.

I’ve already mentioned a penis ring, but you can also get desensitising creams or gels. They act like an anaesthetic, numbing the tip of the penis. Just remember that oral sex is than off the cards because it will numb the mouth, lips and tongue.

Communication.

Last but not least this word that we all know but can’t do - communicate. Take your partner into your confidence, tell her about your anxiety and share with her the journey and what she can do to help.

She’ll be keen, because ultimately it will increase intimacy in your relationship and make sex a whole lot more satisfying.

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