At age 45, Mogamad Salie received a diagnosis that would change his life. He was on the autism spectrum, a revelation that has since shaped his understanding of himself.
The now 54-year-old from Cape Town said no one in his family, including his mother, had a clue about the disorder.
“They did not understand what ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) or autism was. I could also speak from a young age and loved mathematics. I could tell the time and count to a thousand by the time I was three years old.
“However, I had special eating needs and sensory issues. My mother was quite accommodating and even though we weren’t well to do, she bought food that I enjoyed eating. I was also quite sensitive to light, touch and smell even to this day,” he said.
Salie said when he started school, it became more difficult.
“I also had Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), so I could not sit still in class or listen to the teachers. I got bored easily, even as I got older. But I never got in trouble."
Salie said he, however, excelled throughout his schooling career and sport, especially athletics.
He thereafter completed his honours degree in electrical engineering at the University of Cape Town.
Salie said one of the greatest struggles was socialising.
“As a child, I did not understand why people greeted one another - ‘hello, how are you?’. It did not make sense. But I tried my best to understand my peers, make friends and even mimicked them. A lot of the time I just did things to fit in, even though it did not make sense to me.
“At university I was quiet, more of an observer. If I knew people, I would speak a little, but still hold back. When I started working, it was more difficult, especially the greeting and socialising. When people asked me, ‘how are you?’, I would question if they really wanted to know how I was or should I respond, ‘fine, thank you’.
“People also brought food or cakes on birthdays. I did not like those kinds of things and didn’t partake. I also needed clarity on things as I overthink. I asked a lot more questions, which often made people feel as if I was interrogating them."
Salie said he was diagnosed with autism at age 45.
“It was because of my wife that I was diagnosed. At the time, I was going through a personal crisis. Normally when autistic people go through a crisis they can become stressed. During the crisis, she noticed strange things and eventually saw a programme on TV about children with autism, and said I was much like that. This is when we started looking into what autism was.
“Since I was diagnosed, I just try to be who I am, but now notice how different I am to others. Society has different social norms, which are complicated. But to cope I just forgive people because they don't understand me, and I don't understand them."
Salie added that being autistic did not completely limit him in life.
He managed to achieve a black belt in Brazilian jiu-jitsu.
“I liked martial arts as it kept me in movement as I do get bored easily. I also coached children, some of which were autistic and non-verbal. I had to stop coaching after 15 years when I was medically boarded in 2012, after being diagnosed with degenerative cervical disc disease."
Salie added that he wrote his first book, Chicken Legs - A Loners Way, which was published in 2021. He is currently working on his second book.
“Writing a book was never something I wanted to do. It just happened after I could no longer work. At the time I was stressed by many things happening in my life and I started to write about it. I was getting depressed and writing was my self-therapy.
“The first book is my life story, from childhood to adulthood. My second book focuses on things that I have gone or am going through, and how I see the world. For example, there is a chapter on why do people socialise, because for years, I thought about why people do this."
The father of three daughters, two of whom have autism, said his future goals were to take care of his family.
His message to people with autism was to “just be you”.
“Don't try to fit into what others want you to be. Instead figure out what you want to do as long as it is not a crime and going to hurt another person. We just think differently, so there is no point trying to fit in. You are just going to be unhappy.”